#Himbo Dwarf

[glorfindelridesagain]

Bilbo: Don't kill me I have a boyfriend.

Orc Captain: You think I care about that?

Bilbo: No this isn't a plea for mercy, it's a warning.

Orc Captain: What-

Thorin (appearing out of nowhere): ARE YOU READY TO DIE?!?!

[purumuhugr]

An sticker I made long ago (like two years) when I started reading Guards, Guards! by Terry Pratchett, special thanks and sorries to @YulsBolts

I haven't read any book besides Mort, the aforementioned one and Equal Rites qwq

[gilmores-glorious-blog]

“uppies, uppies!!” matt you’re so cute i adore you

[olsmad-illo]

Some characters I’ve done this past year! In order of appearance: Randy the Halfling Monk, Axel the Tiefling Paladin, Maelaig the Dawrf/Elf Alchemist, and Clover the Halfling Druid.

My commissions for characters are open!

[gotta-pet-em-all]

For the Pokémon Type Ask Game, I'd say you're Dark/Ice

-@chaos-cousins

Aw, thank you!

That said. I do have a therapist, whom I've been seeing regularly for the past...damn, has it really been almost three years?

[randoimago]

So far Tiefling is winning in the poll (there's still a lot of time left tho) and I don't know what else I expected. The community loves tieflings

[angelltheninth]

Virgin Clark Kent Headcanons

Pairing: Clark Kent x Fem!Reader

Tags: nsfw, smut, loss of virgity, experiance gap, size kink, power use, sweet Clark Kent, himbo Clark Kent, virgin Clark Kent

A/N: Love that the fandom agreed that this version of Clark is a virgin. We have a hivemind.

Virgin!Clark Kent who gets a hard-on every time you accidentally brush against his cock in bed an tries to hide it with his hands while blushing

Virgin!Clark Kent who can't stop thinking about you at night and listens in on your masturbation sessions regularly while jerking off his huge cock

Virgin!Clark Kent who never watched a lot of porn so he has a lot to learn about pleasure and kinks but you're a very eager teacher

Virgin!Clark Kent who gets a dopey smile on his face when he imagines you in a lewd scenario yet also feels guilty if he gets caught

Virgin!Clark Kent who never wants to hurt you so he minds his grip on your hips when you're together, which often makes him shake if he's feeling too much pleasure while doing lewd things

Virgin!Clark Kent who blushes so easily at the smallest compliments about his body of his size, he knows how big he is and really worries about hurting you when you have sex

Virgin!Clark Kent who talks a lot while having sex because he has to distract himself from the feeling of your pussy clenching around his cock and not blow his load too early even tough he wouldn't go soft if he did

Virgin!Clark Kent who can last for a very long time the first time you have sex due to his Kryptonian stamina

Virgin!Clark Kent who keeps avoiding your eyes, in fact he hardly looks at you and not because of his heat vision

Virgin!Clark Kent who dwarfs you in size in every aspect and is all too careful not to crush you, he would actually like it if you were on top for your first time

Virgin!Clark Kent who admits to having very little experience since he knows you wont make fun of him for it and will help guide him instead

Virgin!Clark Kent who lets you set the pace of his thrusts and can keep going for as long as you need him to

[tenojan-in-tevinter]

Honestly there's no one I'd rather be on a forced saving-the-world road trip with than the origins gang. Sorry kotor companions sorry bg3 companions but no one does it like the origins gang. They are a family they are insane they are not to be fucked with they never would have been friends if they were given a choice in the matter. The perfect road trip squad.

They consist of the best dog in thedas, the worlds most royal himbo, a demi-god shapeshifting witch, a bisexual assassin nun, a bisexual assassin orphan, a powerful spell-slinging grandma living on borrowed time (who is bffs with a spirit), a giant spy man who doesn't know how to function by himself, the worlds grossest dwarf, and a giant statue that has a life goal to kill all birds.

[khawla-gfm2]

📰Khawla's Family Campaign Update: 42📰

$6,022/$20,000 as of September 25th [10pm CDT]

We reached $6,000! let's keep the momentum going!

Currently $978 away from $7,000 as a short term goal!

the next immediate target is $10,000 as the halfway mark.

please consider donating even just $5, $10, or $20 to help push the fundraiser further to reaching it's goal! and keep reblogging/sharing the campaign so that other people who can donate may see it!

[for more information on the campaign: check my pinned post, the campaign page itself, or message me directly if you have any questions]

[tag list under the cut]:

@corpsenurse @vita-e @guiltycrunch @onetruesirius @gaysebastianvael @inplodinggofer616 @d3lph1unkn0wn @confusedsheepsblog @p33rpressure @ahperrytheplatypus @your-13th-suffers @hericanee @murderbot @arceusbeta @tam-shade-song @coleheinous @diberhaze @space-batzz @devilmeows @gizdathemxel

@slowbrobutch @hotsugarbyglassanimals @dubiousyuri @pinetreesdoodles @mores0 @suzu-by-starlight @sparky-is-spiders @hellotheretraveler @hahvdh @archferret @softeninglooks @moronic0xymoron @darthferbert @virgincognito @animebabe55 @profoundlyscreechingkryptonite @princessnessa2017-blog @neptuneschaos @the-mold-under-your-bed123 @ropes3amthoughts

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@one-cold-witch @d1anna @esoteric-brustle @lpslover6669 @anakalos @buildmeupbuttercup14 @skkfujoshi @chaos-axolotl-reblogs @def-not-kaz-brekker @invulnerable-vaguewomen @dlxxv-vetted-donations @candycrypt1d @gryficowa @ocipiala @zaminami @mjthefaeva @nako-funky @kenniex2 @hananono @centi-pearl

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@killer-wizard @sapphicdragons-1 @rainy-clawz @afunlessland @dwarf-enjoyer @juchily @classyeyeballs @jeynees @ajatheoleander12 @sentienceoverload-29 @manic-pixie-dream-cock @jinnazah @1ikeavirgil @darlingbookworm @wetccarpet @chthonianalacrity @samurotting @aldryrththerainbowheart @mochipuppy16 @darinaethelaianprophet

@this-deadgirlwalking @rob-os-17 @moonbisexualsharktamerr @screamnpatches @luvdisc69 @ghostb3loved @fuckcapitalismasshole @no-clue-just-vibin @twashcat360 @amythestvaporeonbackup @lazy-but-amazing @dusty-brain @loucygoosey @bichi2004 @stalinistqueens @wynsummers @rottingoranges @thingfromanoutherworld @ashkaranast

@wetccarpet @chthonianalacrity @samurotting @aldryrththerainbowheart @mochipuppy16 @darinaethelaianprophet @rob-os-17 @moonbisexualsharktamerr @weakestwarrior @v1rtualv4mp @fiapple @tryna-sleep @snapcracklepop-myjoints @l-art-stuff-l @minosbull @duskstarshit @cosmicgamerboy @squidkiddoesstuff @attaboy-art @fireflyingaway

@blackcrystalball @lookineedsleep @lampthehealthminister @therealdjpocky @holyeaglecupcakesposts @amberspacedf @teeethbrush @bunnannie @lesbitching @lonelypotato23 @swaggy-hairy-thang @murenaaaaa @karlmarxmaybe @littlegaypancake @zimislockedinthefreezer @catboywillferal @yetisidelblog @tspicer23 @galax-dragon

@redpinejo @orphancat @sea-200 @literally-one-million-bees @aroacedisasterr @blvvdyindustries @sunmooneclipseandstars @theandroidsentbycyberl1fe @reblogingstuffrandomly @animatorfun @r4yt0r0f4nb0y @fazar234 @mstormcloud @theguiltygearheritageposts @doubleedgemode @millionthcephalophore @white-mirrors @cherubsaliaa @ash24601 @willhelmthewhale

@cipherinator @sister-lucifer @missivorystone @4de2ssy0 @alpabett @99orangeblossoms @totally-six @sematary-drive @knittedquails @masterofthepistachio @gagreflexoxo @owlchow @specificiumray @valentinemailbox @patzweigz @papus-clown-enclosure @montewave @chilewithcarnage @leftyreea @quesofromagecheese

@spookygayferret @cloudy-osc @thatonedemon @hellswolfie @hungee-boy @thenamelessdepths @courtly-kenzie @funnypickle3 @wompwompwoooooomp @ashytheslashy @magnuficentwo @thatgothicgirl @geodetojoy @feelo-fick @herondale-infj @nerdytextileartist @queencantaloupe @clownbugg-ie @xxhalfempty @ransiquack

@rowletlittenpopplioteam @the-coley-zone @furrysinthematrix @frograaa @mattsinclairvo @snufkin1970 @bi-worm @sillymarillly @luckycloverforducks @sithlordpadawan @kippahkaplan @bonecodoposto-45 @tinkerscrickets @starshinesparkle @commersons-fucking-dolphin @soulessdeadpool13 @kasthejackass @icaruslore @maln0x @fancylittleworm

[quarks-pussy]

Apparently it's a fanon thing 😔

That said,

Quick sidebar, i havent watched too much TOS, is Bones being an eleven by vulcan standards canon or did the Spones fandom just Decide that?

[glorfindelridesagain]

Bilbo: Hello Thorin.

Thorin, drunk: You are so good looking.

Thorin, throwing his arm around Bilbo: I’m gonna make love to you right here right now.

Dwalin, sitting in a chair next to them: Really wish you wouldn’t.

[gewska]

Some bg3 sketches!

My first Tav, tiefling bard, who sings silly little songs about her beautiful wife Karlach and tries her best

Second Tav, a half-orc barbarian with enemies to lovers relationship with Shadowheart, but he's a himbo and has no idea they have beef

And a third one, a rich noble dwarf necromancer with questionable morals and interest in otherworldly creatures if you catch my drift ahahaha

and some companion sketches

[jweekgoji]

can u write some Yandere TFO Darkwing x Cybertronian femme reader, who is a miner but Darkwing ends up getting her pregnant and forces her to be his conjux

Yandere!Darkwing/Femme!Reader [TFO]

tw: dubcon, yandere/dark themes, unplanned pregnancy, toxic relationship, supervisor/subordinate, power imbalance, size difference, mentions of past abuse, sickness, description of trauma, hurt no comfort, no happy ending. word count: ~1780 a/n: I wanted to keep it short, but somehow it leads to this. I guess this is for 5 Darkwing fans? imo, he has good himbo potential. also writing for Elita was fun...now i wanna write some Optimus and Elita/Reader fics once i'm done with requests.

How could you let this happen?

The same question runs in your head over and over again. It seems that no matter how hard you try to forget about it, you always see that familiar face right next to yours. Dwarfing you, making you feel so small and fragile. It probably wouldn't be too far from the truth. With your smaller, weaker body, nobody would even notice if you were gone.

You should be used to it by now. Countless cycles of mining, the same routine seems somehow calming despite having no signs of progress in any near future.

Energon, sleep, energon, sleep. What kind of life is that? Was that really all you're good for? Your endless purpose until you break one day?

Primus, why did he make you suffer?

“Hey!” you hear a rough, commanding tone from your captain right behind you. “No slacking off until we finish our job! Come on, keep up!”

You blink once, then another few times, optics quickly concentrating on the wall in front of you. How long were you staring at this wall…? Doesn't matter.

Elita-One gives you a glare; she is too preoccupied with leading her group safe; of course, the mines are too dangerous, and every single wrong move could lead to a series of disasters. You usually have no problems with following her orders, but everything now is just too much. Too much stress, too many orders. You're so exhausted.

Reluctantly, you continue working on collecting energon once again. The heavy equipment makes your frame tremble from the weight; you never once struggled with it, despite the drilling machine being almost the same weight as yours. Now, every single minute feels like a challenge. Focus, focus, focus— you can't just pass out during your work! If it didn't kill you first, then Elita-One certainly would after you screwed her chances of promotion.

You shook your head, as if somehow all the thoughts about the pain—the non-stop aching shooting down your back. It makes you want to bend down and wrap your arms around yourself; maybe, just maybe, it will all go away, and you'll be back to normal.

The soft whirr of your cooling systems gets louder. The poor mechanism overworking itself to cool down your frame. You barely notice how the buzzing sound of the drills seems quieter now, changing into the ringing in your head.

The loud clank of the metal against the ground quickly catches Elita's attention. A frown etched on her faceplate, the immediate ‘...by the name of Solus Prime, what's next?’ she quietly grumbled under her breath, turning her attention to the source of that sound.

Your boss was ready to scold you again, another lecture about the importance of teamwork and how it affects the whole squad—but all the annoyance quickly changes into panic the moment she sees you. Close to falling on your own knees and forehead pressed against the wall as you lean against it.

She quickly approaches you, placing her servo on your shoulder to turn you over so you can face her. Your frame is so warm, no, too warm it's almost burning hot. Your spark beats so hard she can practically feel it under her palm. The signs of sickness are obvious, and she cursed her luck yet again that now she has to explain the situation to the supervisors.

Elita helps you to lean your frame against her own instead, holding her arm around your waist, asking countless questions about what the pit you were thinking, and starting your shift without telling her about your well-being. She's the leader of your group! She has to know everything! It doesn't help with her concerns that you barely say anything, too weak to even open your mouth.

She is so annoyed with you, at everything right now. Great, just great, now she has to— a pause. Her optics widened for a mere second. Elita-One looks down at you with a mixture of confusion and a growing shock. The beating of your spark. Twice as fast, too unusual for any cybertronian even if put under the stress. Her servo reaches to your chassis, hovering over the spot where the spark chamber is. You're sparked up.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Quiet, too quiet, perhaps. The first thing you notice before finally opening your optics. The soft light of the room makes you want to go back to recharging again. Another innocent dream will be a good place to escape the harsh reality, until the slow realization creeps into your mind.

“It wasn't my fault, how could I—” the distant sound of Elita's voice is heard outside the room you were in.

“It was your job to lead the group and make sure everything goes according to the protocols. Just like ensuring that every bot in your squad is in the right shape for work,” you don't have to check twice to understand who it would be. Darkwing.

You can hear Elita trying to defend herself again. After all, it wasn't really her fault. You never wanted to tell anyone about it. But what choices did you have? How can you explain being sparked up? By who?

Now you feel guilty. Shame. She got into trouble because of you, and knowing how hard she worked to reach her position...You're so, so sorry.

You slowly move to sit up on the berth in the...what was this place exactly? It reminds of the infirmary, but surprisingly, any medic is absent today. Ratchet? Lifeline? First Aid? Completely gone.

As the door opens, your optics meet Darkwing's own. It was always hard to understand what exactly he was thinking about when he looked at you. The visor, the battle mask, it seems like every single thing in him has a purpose to make you self-conscious. Nervous and scared. Unlike him, you never had the chance of hiding.

Once you two were alone, he's fuming. He breathes heavily, trying to suppress the anger burning inside his chassis. If you were any other miner, another speck of dirt under his pedes, he would have disciplined you without thinking twice.

But you're no ordinary miner now, are you?

“You hid this from me, on purpose,” Darkwing looks down at you, servos clenching into tight fists. “And this is how I find out about it. Do you have any idea what you just got yourself into?”

The mere idea of him being together with  some nameless miner? Ridiculous. He never planned it to develop into something more. Just a one-night stand, nothing more. He would have forgotten about it by the next day if it wasn't for something, making him think about you since then.

The perfect size, fitting in his servos just right. A tiny toy to play with and use however he wants. A cute one too; isn't this a great deal? The curves, the shape of your frame...if you had a cog, what kind of alt mode would you have? A jet like him? Maybe a car? A boat?

Any other of his fellow supervisors would have left you immediately once they found out. If any bot gets to know about it, he's screwed. Darkwing, who claims to despise every single cogless bot? And now he's having second thoughts about whether he should let you be on your own or...participate?

You lowered your head, as if in shame. There's no fight in you left, not after Darkwing personally stripped you of your dignity. Now the only thing left is a sense of responsibility over that sparkling inside you. You're not even sure if your body can take it. The slowly growing little thing takes up a good half of your energy, and with the energon portions you receive, it is hardly enough for the two. You might die from starvation if this keeps up.

Just standing next to Darkwing is a struggle. You wonder, if he even understands what he costantly puts you through, or maybe he finds some sick pleasure in it. Watching you suffer. Is that what he wants? While you live with the responsibility that he put on your shoulders, nothing ever changes for him. This is so unfair.

You will be no surprised if he drags you to the mines to continue working just to please Sentinel Prime right now.

“Can't even look at me. You miners are only good at one thing,” another taunt. His servo reaches to cup your chin, forcing you to look up at him.

The touch is gentler, not the usual roughness you started getting used to. You learned that whenever he is near you, the pain should be expected the next. That's why it's hard not to flinch every time he gets a little too close. This time, it's something different. Your optics closed, as if expecting a punch, a slap, or another bunch of degrading words?

Nothing.

Trembling in his grasp like some sort of wounded animal next to their predator. Obedient, quiet and timid, the cycles he spent to shape you into a perfect doll to play with. But you're carrying his sparkling, the part of him is soon to be born in this world. It is too late to get rid of it, even though some time ago the sound of it seemed tempting. No, even a useless doll like you deserves a second chance to prove yourself. From some faceless miner, you can grow into something more. Better. A carrier.

He can't let you go back to that place; it would be too cruel even for someone like him to let the carrier of his sparkling to continue this. The best thing is, no one would even suspect you were gone. A tragic event, one of the miner bots neglected their health until it was too late.

Sad, sobbing story, but don't worry, being stuck with your ex-supervisor is not too bad. By the all old rules, it's a shame not to claim a carrier of your sparklings as your conjunx.

“You should be grateful that I have better plans to use you, cogless,” Darkwing's hold on you tightened just for a fraction. To make sure you listen and understand his intentions. No other options but to obey. His words echo in the back of your mind.

The act of profference.

Gifting you a freedom, something you wished for and craved so deeply supposed to make you happy. If only it wasn't the same day you lose it.

[fullofbees]

@pompeiisystem requested: #135 With Beel and a easily flustered mc? Please I'm begging I love the big himbo man with every inch of my heart lol

CW: Talking about masturbation

»»----------► GN!Reader

“Beel, look how many likes your devilgram photo got!” You cheer, showing the gluttonous demon your phone screen.

The post was meant to be inspirational, in a cheesy influencer way, at Asmo’s suggestion. The first showed Beelzebub before Fangol practice, sitting on a bench in the locker room. One hand is slipping on his cleats while the other shovels chips into his mouth. Swipe left, and you’ll find the after photo; Beel grinning in his sweat-drenched jersey, cheeks rosy from exercise, a towel slung across his shoulders. Nobody knows that he’s smiling because, behind the camera, you’re bribing him with food so he’ll stay still for the picture.

“We eatin’ good tonight, chat. Everyone say thank you Beel for the meal?” He reads aloud, head tilted in confusion.

Your eyes widen as you look back to the screen, noticing the top comment under the post. The replies are filled with equally thirsty comments and very suggestive emojis.

The heat of embarrassment starts at the tip of your ears, making its way down your face and neck. Of course, you agree wholeheartedly with the commenters. Beelzebub has no business being as attractive as he is; solid muscle that could hold you like it was nothing, large hands that are used to stuffing-

The demon interrupts your runaway thoughts, “Wait, what does that one say?” He points to another comment with a crumb-riddled finger.

“Oh! Um,” you hum, willing your eyes to focus on the text, “New... masturbation material...”

When you look at the demon, he is already distracted by the TV - an ad for a local restaurant. He doesn’t seem bothered at all.

“Sorry, are these not... weird to you?”

“Not really,” he says as he opens his next snack, “Everyone needs something to fantasize about.”

Don’t remind me. Too many nights have you spent alone in your bed, hand between your legs, fantasizing about the demon just down the hall from you. Would he be fast and rough, or would he take his time? Would he savor you like a delicacy, or would he devour you whole in his hunger? Why did the image of bruises in the shape of his bite excite you so damn much?

“I suppose you’re right,” you say, scratching the back of your neck. This is not a conversation you ever imagined having, nor did you expect Beel to be so nonchalant about it. Compared to your flustered state - if this were one of Levi’s manga, then blood would be dripping out of your nose right now - Beel is almost statuesque in his composure.

“I’ll be honest: I get off to the thought of you.”

Scratch that; blood would be pouring.

You’d bury your face in your hands if it weren’t for the fact that you’re frozen in shock. Beel’s calm demeanor cracks slightly; a faint blush blossoms on his face as he fidgets, one hand nervously clutching the other’s wrist.

Lips part to break the awkward silence, but your mind is blank, and any words mustered die in your throat. Excitement, lust, and anxiety overwhelm you in waves. The crash comes when your phone clatters to the floor, having slipped from your increasingly sweaty grip.

Both of you react, reaching for the device at your feet. Your fingers brush together, and you must bite your lip to keep yourself in check.

Beel doesn’t move, eyes fixed on the sight of his hand easily dwarfing yours. It isn’t until you clear your throat that he returns to wringing his wrist in worry.

Neither of you speak, yet neither of you leave. You begin to mirror Beel, fingers nervously picking at loose threads hanging from your sleeves. It takes a moment for your heart to settle, for your sinful curiosity to outweigh your apprehension.

Your voice is quiet, but not hesitant when you ask, “What do you think I taste like?”

Beel’s stomach roars in its familiar hunger.

“Will you let me find out?”

•••✦ ❤ ✦••• Submit A Request | Read on AO3 •••✦ ❤ ✦•••

A/N: Sorry there's no actual smut TvT but I love flirty dialogue that allows your mind to wander ;3

[goingroguepod]

Working through Terry Pratchett's City Watch books and I gotta say, it's almost good there isn't a faithful adaptation of these because it would be simply too powerful.

What do you mean modern feudalism/late stage capitalism critic and recovering alcoholic Sam Vimes and his squad of made up of Himbo, Lazy Uncle, Weird Uncle, Hot Werewolf, Big Dude, Gender Non-conforming Dwarf and assorted weirdos has never been successfully adapted into a case of the week, rambling city fantasy crime show?

Have the TV execs heard about Sam's burning commitment to do good in a city that doesn't care, working within a system that is already irreparably broken? Do they know about how Lady Sybil, a blunt and sensible woman in her 40s, inspires a sense of stunned awe is everyone around her, including the narrator? Do they know how feral the internet would go over "One True King Who Doesn't Really Vibe The Monarchy So He Just Hangs Around Being Nice To People And Also Is Extremely Jacked"?

[cassafrasscr]

Even putting aside the Dorym of it all... I kinda feel like part of the reason Orym misses Dorian so much is that Dorian is kinda the next most normal person in the Crownkeepers and Bell’s Hells. Which is honestly a little wild to be saying about a runaway prince in disguise. But like...

The Crownkeepers have/had:

- A himbo dwarf Sorceror who has been singled out by a Lesser Idol in a fursuit.

- A bubbly girly-girl Warlock who is apparently her own patron (and the Spider Queen's here too, I guess)

- A Rabbit-folk Paladin who used to be a bartender in Fantasy Vegas and is now devoted to the goddess of death.

- A kleptomaniac Faun whose adoptive grandmother is an eldritch hag with the power to alter fate. Also, has a pet monkey that shits fire.

- Does Cyrus count? He’s an NPC. In any case, he’s basically the same as Dorian, but More Himbo and less useful, lol.

- A woman so intense she is literally always on fire.

Bell's Hells has/had:

- Fearne (I already explained her)

- A Werewolf who makes toys and hates Santa.

- A walking corpse who is haunted by the spirit of the necromancer who raised her from the dead. Also enjoys puppeting a dead rat.

- A purple-haired Psychic who gets her powers from an imprisoned eldritch moon monster.

- A Barbarian punk who is half Primordial Titan, half Beacon, all attitude. Also, they used to be an Aasimar before his cultist parents meddled with powers beyond mortal understanding.

- A chirpy, sentient Robot who is technically a therapist, but also really bad at it. Recently discovered religion and is real annoying about it.

- An 80 year-old man who is an erstwhile member of the legendary Vox Machina. Also, known liar and coward.

In contrast, you have Dorian (runaway prince) and Orym (just some guy).

I feel like they probably met each other for the first time and were both like, 'THANK THE GODS, SOMEONE WHO ISN'T TOTALLY BONKERS,' and just stuck to each other. Like two acquaintances at a party where they didn't know anyone else. 😂😂😂